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2nd Team Captain - Paul Doody 01952 222757 - 07977 012202

Albrighton 1 - Away... A must read!

Match Report
Prior to writing this report, I decided to Google “Albrighton” to find out some interesting facts about this quaint little village and its history.  For those of you who don’t already know, Albrighton’s claim to fame is the fact it is mentioned in William the Conqueror’s “Doomsday Book”, first published in August 1086.  The book states that “felons” and other “malefactors” used to flee to Albrighton from Staffordshire to avoid prosecution, because there was no resident “justice of the peace” in Albrighton.  After playing the descendants of these evil criminals on Monday night, I can personally testify to this historic fact and the aptly named “Doomsday” is a very good way to describe the travesty of our tennis match on Monday 2nd November 2009.

Another interesting fact (courtesy of Wikipedia) states that “in a recent poll by Axm-mag and Divamag magazines Albrighton was polled to have had, per head, one of the highest rates of homosexuality and the biggest underground gay scene in Shropshire”.  Upon reflection, the tight lycra leggings which I’d decided to wear (to Alison and Carol’s delight) may not have been the best choice of attire!!!

Now onto the match... I was the first to arrive for Wrekin at Albrighton on what can only be described as a very cold, dark, mildly damp evening.  Upon arrival I was greeted by what seemed to be two very ‘lovely’ ladies, who’s combined age was probably close to that of the entire Wrekin team.  At first I thought they were the caterers for the evening, but it later transpired they were playing and I had an eerie feeling my dismissive attitude towards them could come back to haunt me.  Even though both ladies were ‘getting on a bit’, they certainly knew how to play tennis and furthermore they knew exactly how to get the very worst out of their opponents, by what some might describe in football as persistent “professional fouls”.  Unfortunately, as the Doomsday Book correctly stated, there was no “resident justice of the peace” (i.e no umpire) in Albrighton, so the professional fouls went unpunished.

Myself and Alison played 1st pair against Albrighton’s 1st pair Pete and Peggy.  Pete spoke to confirm his name at the start of the match and never spoke another word until we sat down for tea and sandwiches some 3 hours later!  The courts were surfaced with carpet and this was a new experience for me which took some getting used to.  In fact, on the very first point I slipped over and this resulted in 3rd degree carpet burns to my right knee.  From then on, Alison and I quickly adapted to the surface and with Alison’s dominant net play we raced away with the first set 6-3.  The second set was much the same story and we took the second set 6-3 too.

Whilst half way through our second set I noticed our 2nd pair had already finished playing there 1st rubber and Joey was enjoying a mug of tea and biscuits with the opposition.  Assuming Joey and Carol must have thrashed the Albrighton 2nd pair, I could not have been more wrong.  They had in fact lost 0-6, 2-6, which meant overall we were losing on games at half time.  Furthermore, Carol had sustained a blow to the head, which was evident by a huge lump on her forehead which was literally “the size of a tennis ball”.  Apparently, this was injury was 100% self inflicted and this self harming tendency stems back to the fact she is married to the Chairman Alan.

So at half time, Wrekin had it all to do.  After beating the 1st pair convincingly, Alison and I agreed a 6-0, 6-0 thrashing of their 2nd pair (Ian & Shirley) was required in order for us to stand a chance of winning the match.  REALITY CHECK: Alison and I proceeded to go 3-1 down in the first set and our spirits started to deflate.  It transpired that their 2nd pair were as good (if not better) than their 1st pair.  Ian’s style of slicing the ball was particularly effective on the carpet surface and Shirley’s “professional fouls” made them tough opposition.  Regardless, Alison and I managed to pull the set around and we won the first set 7-6.

The second set got off to a similar start to the first, with us going 3-1 down.  At this point the lights suddenly went out on the other court and our play was disrupted for around 5 minutes whilst Shirley tried to sort out the technical issue.  Whilst waiting for the technical issue to be resolved, Joey decided to have yet another mug of tea.  They were 1 set to 0 down at this point, but they were on a tie breaker for the 2nd set.  This meant if they could win the tiebreaker and we could win our second set, Wrekin would get a winning draw on sets.  Despite this realisation, Alison and I were unable to do anything to turn around the early deficit in the 2nd set and we lost it 1-6.

A nervy 10 point tie breaker ensued and despite Alison and I having match point at 9-8, we ended up losing the tie breaker 9-11.  To make matters worse, Joey and Carol had also lost their rubber, so overall we lost the match 3-1 in rubbers (7-1 on points).

After the match we retreated to what can only be described as glorified coal shed, complete with fitted kitchen and plastic garden furniture.  Joey took on a further 2 cups of tea at this point, which had me wondering how anyone could take on and store so much fluid in such a short space of time.  From looking at his match results, I don’t think he had sweat much fluid away!  The food consisted of homemade sandwiches and a salad bowl (which Joey particularly enjoyed) and the conversation was at best pleasant.  Pete demonstrated that he was in fact capable of speech, although my earlier impressions made me think he was probably mute.

Upon leaving the shed, Carol spent the next 5 minutes rummaging through her bag in search of her car keys.  I think the earlier bang on her head may have resulted in a temporary loss of memory.  Added with the fact, all women can store an incredible amount of items in a tiny little handbag, you can imagine just how much they can get in a full sized sports bag!!!  Alison and I enjoyed ridiculing Carol over the incident whilst walking back to the car park.  However, the last laugh turned out to be on Alison, as when she got home she realised that she had left her tennis racquet in Albrighton’s coal shed.  Women!

All in all,  I can honestly say that I really enjoyed my evening out in Albrighton.  I met some lovely people who played tennis in a very sporting manner.  The final result was a true reflection of the overall match and I’m really looking forward to going back there again one day in the future.  On the other hand, my mum always said that “sarcasm doesn’t become you”...  This may be true but I’m a firm believer that “sarcasm is the lowest form of wit and the highest form of intelligence”.  Thus, you work it out!

Apologies again to team captain Paul.  I hope this poor result does not mean we will end up getting relegated.  Thank you to all the Wrekin players who I have played with this Autumn in the mixed league and if you managed to get to this point, without falling asleep, well done!!!

Dean

[ Teams ]
Dean / Alison – 1st pair
Joey / Carol P – 2nd pair

[ Result ]
Dean / Alison: -
Beat 1st pair        6-3, 6-3
Lost 2nd pair        7-6, 1-6, 0-1

Joey / Carol P
Lost 1st Pair         0-6, 2-6
Lost 2nd Pair        1 -2 sets

Overall: -
Albrighton Win 7-1 on points
(4 points for the win + 3 points for each rubber won)

Woodfield 5 - Away

joey and jay   6-3 3-6  1-0  and  4-6  4-6
ray and sarah  6-2  6-7 0-1 and  6-4  4-6  0-1

match report :
 
It was a case of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Ray and Sarah won both their first sets only to go on to lose the 2nd sets and the tie breaks. Joey and Jay played well to win their first match and were unlucky to lose the 2nd , 4-6 4-6. The sides were evenly matched with both opposition ladies being steady net players. The worn courts led to a few worrying moments of stumbles, splits and falls (Joey 2 Ray 3). My advise to anyone playing there in the future is to wear spikes and to stear well clear of Sarah's elbows.

Claverley 3 - Home
First pair Dean & Sarah Won 6-3, 6-4 & 6-2, 6-3
Second Pair - Howard & Alison Won 6-0, 6-1 & 2-6, 6-4 1-0
It was a full house as the first team were also playing, so as usual the second team were relegated to the bottom courts, but they are in better nick anyway!
We had a delay waiting for two of the Claverley team who had taken a detour to High Ercall, hoping to find Ercall wood School! They nearly starting playing before they realised they were in the wrong place. Unfortunately, they were not late enough for us to claim a rubber so we got straight down to it.
Denied a long warm up, the Claverly second pair got off to a slow start and we were able to gain a comfortable 6-0, 6-1 win. Dean and Sarah had a closer match with the first pair with many long rallies but they came through 6-4, 6-3.
After their relatively easy first match Howard and Alison struggled to find form against the more consistent first pair, losing the first set 2-6. Then we got off to a flying start in the second set , forging ahead 3-0, mainly dur to Alisons superb net play, putting balls away at unplayable angles! After the opposition had clawed it back to 3-3 we regrouped to win the set 6-3, leading us to the dreaded 10 point tie break.
By this time Dean and Sarah had won their match despite a more determined second pair, so the pressure was off a bit!
Claverly came out strong and we were soon down 5-0 and it looked like curtains!
However we gradually clawed it back to 7-7 and then it was game on with never more than on point in it, with match points for both sides Wrekin eventually won it 14-12 after Howard got a first serve it for a change, securing an 8-0 victory, so well done to everyone!

Longden 2 - Home
Losing Draw!
I have a friend at work who doesn't believe you can have a losing draw!
Well I suppose we lost really but a loosing draw sounds better and its still 3 points!
Yet again we were up against two consitent pairs who were quite useful at the net.
Dean and Carol Pritchard teamed up as the first pair while Howard and Carol Hill were seconds.
The seconds missed some chances to win their first set which was close with few easy points, but eventually succumbed 4-6 (No excuses, but Carol has a cold and I had a sore toe!)
The first pair also lost their first set 6-2. The seconds quickly lost their way, loosing the second set 1-6. However, the Longden first pair suffered a loss of form in the second set taking the match to a tie break which we won!
So with 1 rubber each it was all to play for with Howard and Carol needing to gain at least a set for us to stand a chance of winning.
Unfortunately the first pair regained their form and beat us 6-2, 6-0, despite the distraction of Carl nearly knocking out his partner Wendy as he ran it to take a volley and his raquet knocked her raquet onto her head! Luckily she survived with a small lump and they carried on to win the match (against Longden 1)
After Howard and Carol finished their match, Dean and Carol were still on their first set, so we decided to join the first team down the Pub before they ate all the sandwiches! After much confusion over the chips, we eventually had half the chips and half the sandwiches.
The rest of the team eventually turned up having won the first set on a tie break and coming back from 5-1 down to win the second set 7-5. It seemed that Dean may have been galvanised into action after a disputed call which went against us, and he was noticable by his absence in the Pub! But his sandwiches did not go to waste as they are now in my lunchbox!
Thanks to Joey and Ray for turning up to support us (maybe one of them should have taken my place!)
Final Score:
Howard and Carol lost 4-6, 1-6 and 2-6, 0-6
Dean and Carol Won 2-6, 6-4, 1-0 and 7-6, 7-5

Shifnal 2 - Home
As Carl would say, OH DEAR!
Wrekin 2 were severely subdued by a consistant Shifnal team to the tune of 4-0!
The first pair, Howard and Sarah got off to a good start by breaking serve in the first game.
Unfortunately that was their only game in the first set as too many mistakes were made as we failed to get our game together. However we came back strongly in the second set to gain set point at 5-3, eventually loosing a long Shifnal sevice game to finish 1-6, 5-7.
It was a similar story against the second pair which we lost 2-6, 4-6.
Our second pair, Sam and Carol played well but again found the Shifnal team too consistent and putting away too many winners at the net, loosing 3-6, 4-6 and 2-6, 0-6.
(Maybe just a bit weary in the last set!)
Howard

Broseley 2 - Away
...Despite the best attempts of the 'ever-efficient' Paul Doody to provide all of the necessary information prior to the match, 3 out of the 4 Wrekin team players struggled to find the venue. Whilst Sarah opted to try and call Joey on his mobile phone (which he never answers, along with the other 5 phone numbers which I have for him, which he also never answers!), I opted for using my sat-nav. As the men's 3rd team with know, my sat-nav is as reliable as "cross court drop shot" from Joey and a 64 shot rally whilst playing with Lee Harris!!! Eventually Sarah and I found each other and we decided to ask a passerby for directions, who was very helpful and we arrived at the club a short time later, only to find the main gates were locked.

'Lovely' Lisa and 'Pouncer' Pip were the first to arrive for Brosely and fortunately they had a key to the gate (it was just like being back at Ercall Wood). A short while later, 'Ravishing' Richard and 'Big' John also arrived for the opposition, immediately followed by Joey. However, where was Jay??? I decided to give her a call on her mobile and I was not surprised to hear she was lost. Joey took over the call and with his expert A-Z taxi driver knowledge, he attempted to direct Jay in through every short cut available in Brosely!!! This proved to be more difficult than expected, so Joey jumped in his car and drove to Brosely town centre to try and find Jay. Within a minute of Joey driving out of the car park, Jay arrived. Unfortunately, however, Joey was not with her!!! 5 minutes later, Joey
returned to a hero's welcome and at last we were all ready to start playing some tennis!!!

Myself(Dean)/Sarah played as 1st pair and Joey/Jay played 2nd pair. Lovely/Ravishing played Brosely 1st pair and Pouncer/Big J played 2nd pair. We lost the racket spin and Ravishing opted to serve first. At that point, he decided to inform us he was the "men's 1st team captain" and that he'd been "coaching tennis" all day, whilst on his break from University. His first serve to Sarah was like a cannon ball, but Sarah managed to return it
and we won the point. Even so Ravishing looked pleased with his 1st serve, as he danced the next service ball in between and around his legs like a 'Harlem globe trotter'. As I stared down the barrel of the cannon, I pondered as to whether his 1st serve to Sarah was his 'weaker' serve which he only reserved for ladies, or whether this was his 'best' serve. Either
way, I had already made up my mind that if his first serve came onto my forehand, I was going to give it a 'good whack' in order to set the tone. As if by magic, his cannon serve came nicely onto my forehand and needless to say it 'got the treatment' and we won the point. This really did set the tone for the rest of match and despite Ravishing's and Lovely's best efforts (who were both very good players), Sarah and I played brilliantly and we
took the match 6-2, 6-2.

At the end of our match, I was 'pumped up' and ready to go. Unfortunately, Joey & Jay had only just finished their first set, which they won!!! 15 minutes later, the air temperature seemed to drop 5 degrees and both 1st team pairs were getting cold from standing around, so we decided to play another set 'for fun'. Ironically, we lost the set 1-6 and at this point I
realised I was no longer pumped up. In fact, I was just some idiot who hadn't bought any warm clothes with him and I was now very cold and I just wanted to get to the pub. Unbelievably, Joey/Jay's match was still ongoing!!! It was now 1-1 in sets and a 10 point tie breaker pursued. Unfortunately, after a valiant effort Joey/Jay lost the tie breaker, which
put Wrekin slightly ahead overall.

Second half proceedings got immediately underway, but we were now under floodlit courts. In our match I was amazed by Pip, who was a nice lady of small stature, but she had a nerve of steel at the net. Hence, I quickly nicknamed her 'Pouncer' Pip (only in my head of course) because she 'pounced' on every loose ball at the net. She was like a female version of
Ray Goldsmith (I mean for her net play). 'Big' John was also no slouch at the net and their style as a pair was completely different to the Brosely first pair. With this in mind, the match proved to be a more difficult proposition, but we eventually won the rubber 6-4, 6-4. It was now 21:15 hrs and Sarah had to start a night shift at 22:00 hrs, so she departed before Joey/Jay's match had finished.

As per the last match, Joey/Jay's match was taking much longer and they had only completed 1 set. I opted to 'defrost' in the warmth of my pickup truck and listen to the England vs. Croatia match on Radio 5 live, whilst admiring the 'craft and guile' of Joey and the 'clinical net play' of Jay. After admiring the quality of tennis for approx 20 minutes from the comfort of my pickup, I established the score was now 1-1 in sets and another 10 point tie breaker was to follow. England had beaten Croatia 5-1 by this point and had qualified for South Africa... Well done the lads! Commiserations if your Welsh, Scottish or Irish.

The tie breaker was about to commence and suddenly the flood lights went out. Looking down the street I could see that the neighbours had lights, so I could only assume they hadn't paid their electric bill in a while...or... they needed to put another token in the meter. It transpired to be the latter, but there was a 10 minute delay/timer before the lights would come
back on. Joey came over and informed me that if the lights did not come back on after 10 minutes he could "claim the rubber". Unfortunately, for Joey and Jay the lights did come back on and they were forced to play the tie breaker.

Joey/Jay started the tie breaker off in impressive fashion. From the comfort of my pickup truck, I had followed the scoring intently, and I had worked out that Joey/Jay were winning either 8-4 or 7-5 (there was 1 point whereby I couldn't work out from the body language of the players who had won it!!!). After winding my window down, it transpired that the score was actually 8-4 to Joey/Jay and the rubber looked to be in the bag. However, an amazing fight back from Brosely 1st pair resulted in a 8-10 tie breaker and Brosely won the rubber 2-1 sets.

The post match refreshments were taken at a nearby pub, 'The Kings Head'. Upon arrival, the barman insisted he didn't know anything about a food booking which was apparently made by Pouncer the previous day. A lady then appeared from the kitchen, who also confirmed she was not aware of any food booking!!! The thought that I had been hanging around for approx 1 hour to see the conclusion of Joey/Jay's match, on the false hope I would get some food at the pub, was painfully hard to swallow. However, the lady from the kitchen rescued me with her re-assuring comment, "don't worry, it's no problem, I will soon rustle up some sandwiches, chips and nuggets".

Whilst waiting for the food to be prepared, team captain Joey confessed he didn't have a clue on how to work out the points and/or how to fill out the score card. Therefore, he asked me to assist him and I gladly accepted position of vice-captain. The overall result was a winning draw for Wrekin. We got 4 point for the winning draw + 2 points for the winning rubbers, so
overall we won the match 6-2 on points. Brosely seemed to be a bit miffed by this score line and Lovely rummaged through her handbag and produced the official rules!!!! Wow, I can't believe someone has actually got a copy of the rules!!! Lovely passed me the rules and asked me to check / point out the rule which confirms the 6-2 score line. To my relief, my understanding of the scoring system was correct (fortunately I had good training from 3rd team captain, Phil Cooke). The score card was signed and we all tucked into a feast which I can honestly say was fit for a "King"!!!!

Dean Thomas
Vice-captain (self proclaimed)